DATrippers go political

In keeping with the shallow self interest that has dominated recent Australian politics, we feel it is time for the cryptic crossword community to flex our political muscle.  We must campaign for policies and leaders that will promote the setting and solving of cryptics!!

We are, after all, the engine room of the Australian economy – crosswords hone our brains, driving innovation and productivity in the knowledge-based economy of the 21st century.  Not only do we provide employment to tens of compilers and editors, but we drive job creation in downstream industries, such as cafes and newsagents.  

We are also a cornerstone of Australian society. Without cryptics, working families would have to resort to other forms of entertainment, like the pokies. The crossword community protects vulnerable pedants from complete despair at the state of public language and stops them turning to non-grape-based substance abuse.

Imagine how many boat people would swamp us if they didn’t feel intimidated by our language’s unique attribute – the cryptic crossword.  Assessing asylum claims on applicants’ ability to complete DA would be a far more effective in deterring asylum seekers than turning back the boats.  In fact, people who cant get at least a handful of clues from NS or RM are un-Australian!

Unfortunately, a little searching reveals that no Australian politicians claim cryptic skills.  No wonder the country is in the state it is in.

It’s too late to start our own party for this election and to get DA into The Lodge, but at least we should direct our votes towards candidates with names that make the most amusing acronyms.  My efforts so far to work out who to vote for on this basis consist of:

DIVE DRUNK

NOT BY T-BOAT

CRAP, EVIL ELM

B-BOAT TREK

RE LICHEN IN MIST

No clear winner here, can anyone do better and guide the preferences of Australia’s newest lobby group?

8 thoughts on “DATrippers go political

  1. RE LICHEN IN MIST: Centre nihilism?
    Falling about laughing, AS. There was an acronym/initialisation thingamee for this in DA recently but I failed the language test …. as a baby boomer, am too old to know or to remember. I do remember though, when I was a 20-something teaching English to adult migrants, that a wonderful Italian woman in my class had a date of arrival earlier than my date of birth.

    JIBE HIP SOUL: I don’t think so!!

  2. Over here, we were so amused by your Labour leadership election we decided to have one of our own.

    DAVID CUNLIFFE will give us NIL DUFF ADVICE,
    but there’s NO STRONGER BRAT than GRANT ROBERTSON.
    SHANE GEOFFREY JONES might be better suited for ambassador to Norway, since HE ENJOYS NORSE GAFFES.

    I would do the same for the Auckland mayoral race, but it’s too depressing. The American TV chef is going to come second, but at least he’ll beat Crazy Auntie Flouridation.

  3. Thanks for the stump speech, AS. Still too busy this financial year trying untangle last quarter’s BAS to launch any visionary rafts.

    How we miss the FIRM ETHICS of Tim Fischer….

  4. Actually it’s RC here, not AS. We’ll be more organised for the next election, DA! Make sure the books are in order by then!

    For any Port Philip-based trippers out there, I recommend against voting for the incumbent Michael Danby, as the best annagrind I can make so far is I HANDLE MY CAB. Yet to work on the other candidates.

    Surely Melbourne resident trippers will be voting green, as Adam Bant is DA BANTAM.

  5. RC, brilliant, and very funny!
    Speaking of brilliant,and funny … for anyone who didn’t get my contribution, I was really tickled with:
    ANNUAL PHONIES : Pauline Hanson
    CURB VILE RACISM: Cruciverbalism.

    Good, eh?!

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